Sunday, September 18, 2011

A LIFE WITHOUT REGRETS?

A Life Without Regrets!




Today I read this interesting write up in the Times of India’s Sunday supplement ‘Times Life’, by Vinita Dawra Nangia. While it ends on a very positive note stating that “Choices distract but if we sincerely follow our heart and resolve not to hurt others along the way, we are unlikely to have any regrets”.



I feel the title would have been more meaningful if it had ended with a question mark rather than an exclamation. The key words in the above statement are- choices, sincerely and resolve. What is it we choose – something in conformity with the others way of thinking and living their lives, thus avoid conflicts and therefore no regrets. How do we sincerely follow our heart? And resolve is compromise.



The above statement, to me appears indirect contrast with what is stated elsewhere in the write up “one must never do anything that goes against one’s grain. Be faithful to the values you choose to believe in so that atleast you followed your principles and would do the same all over again”. You are never going to resolve anything and avoid hurting others if you sincerely follow the callings of your heart.



I appreciate the fact that the write up has been done in an objective manner, our relationships with the external world and how to cope with life, without conflicts and hence no regrets.



But let us accept the truth that our life is also subjective “the world as I see it”. Here I quote from Gabriel Marcel “ No two beings, and no two situations, are really commensurable with each other. To become aware of this fact is to undergo a crisis”. This awareness happens to every individual at some point of time in life. The choices he makes in life are a result of the experiences he has undergone.



After all when does regret occur? Only when comparisons take place and this can happen only in the objective world. So it would be very difficult for an individual not to compare himself with another, unless he has himself understood and resolved the conflicts within himself. And this I guess will take us to another realm of discussion. Let us accept the fact that the Individual will always carry with him the anxiety of conflict between the objective world and his own inner self.



The write up by Vinita affords a very simple solution. But is it really feasible? That is why I said the title should end with question mark—‘A Life Without Regrets?’.

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